Art is Hard

Not Stuck but Also Not Moving in the Pace I wish to

There's a common understanding that most things worth doing take significant time. That seems to hold true for life goals, physical well-being, and especially for the art goals I'm diving into. It’s a process, and I'm realizing that if I try to rush it, I’ll likely have to redo things. That applies to building good relationships too – there aren’t many shortcuts.

In an era, where AI already exists and everything feels instant, developing patience and perseverance is like training a specific muscle group at the gym. From where I stand now, it feels like it requires intensive training. You won’t get to see the fruits of your labor in weeks or months but years. It's a strange internal conflict. One part of me knows that getting distracted by other, less critical tasks or side projects will delay what I’m aiming for. There’s a strong sense of commitment, a decision I’ve made: this is where my focus needs to be.

Yet, alongside that clarity, there’s this creeping feeling of inadequacy. The moment I recognize my own impatience, a flood of questions and doubts clouds my thinking, sometimes leaving me feeling stuck for minutes, or even hours, like today. "When will I get back to feeling physically fit? When will I find relaxed time to spend with my partner? Will I be able to build this art business? And the one that hits hardest: when will I finish an artwork I'm proud of?" The thought, "I should have started these things years ago," often surfaces. I did try before, and it didn't work out, but here I am, on this path again, with many of the same questions popping up whenever I'm still and alone with my thoughts.

Then, a sense of sadness can set in. It’s a noticeable shift, because a few days ago, the realization that I have the opportunity to create, to make things myself now (in a way I couldn't years ago), brought a sense of joy. Now, that feeling is sometimes overshadowed by how much time everything seems to take, and the worry that there might not be enough time for other important aspects of life. It’s enough to make me question my direction, but the underlying answer remains firm: this is what I choose to do. This is what I want.

I've managed to find a sort of balance before, between what life demands and what I desire. So perhaps this intense wish for everything to happen all at once is an unrealistic expectation, a desire for an instant outcome in a long-term game. For now, the focus has to be on practicing that patience and perseverance. I know it's a valid approach; it's worked for me in the past, helped me navigate difficulties and get to where I am. So, I need to keep moving forward.

Are you struggling too?

Thanks for reading! I’m documenting the real, sometimes messy, process. I hope this will someday be useful to people who are going through the same struggles. Subscribe to tag along my art journey.